Harassed, Stalked or Threatened
Stalking and harassment are crimes in most countries. The fear that reporting will make things worse is common - and is usually incorrect. Here is what to do.
Six Months of Messages
Priya ended a two-year relationship six months ago.
Since then, her ex had been messaging her from multiple accounts - apologising, then threatening, then apologising again. She had blocked every account. New ones appeared within days. He had shown up outside her workplace twice. He sent messages to her friends asking about her plans.
Priya had not gone to police. She was afraid it would make him angrier. She kept thinking it would stop on its own. And she felt, in a way she could not quite name, that because she had been in a relationship with him, it was harder to claim this as something wrong.
A colleague noticed the pattern and walked her through what to do. Priya had not realised she had already done the most important thing accidentally: she had kept every message, undeleted, in a folder on her phone. That evidence, plus a written timeline she created in one evening, was enough to file a police report and apply for a non-molestation order.
The order was granted within 72 hours.
How Common This Is
1 in 6
women experience stalking in their lifetime - as do 1 in 17 men
The majority of stalking begins digitally before any physical contact. Most victims know their stalker.
Source: CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 202478% of Stalking Victims Know Their Stalker
The most common relationship is a former romantic partner. The existing relationship does not reduce the criminality of stalking behaviour. Post-separation stalking is recognised as one of the highest-risk periods in domestic abuse cases.
Digital Stalking Precedes Physical Violence in 70%+ of Cases
Monitoring messages, tracking location, and sending repeated unwanted contact are warning signs that precede escalation in the majority of domestic abuse cases. Early reporting creates a documented pattern before escalation occurs.
Only 37% of Victims Report to Police
Fear of not being taken seriously, fear of escalation, and uncertainty about what counts as reportable all reduce reporting. Fewer than 20% of victims obtain a protective order, despite their effectiveness.
Evidence Changes Outcomes
A written timeline with supporting screenshots transforms a he-said-she-said situation into a documentable pattern. Courts and police respond to patterns, not single incidents. Start documenting even before you are ready to report.
Document Before You Report
Do not delete anything. Even messages that upset you, or that feel too trivial to matter. A pattern is built from small things.
What to capture:
- Screenshots of every message with timestamps visible
- The sender's username, account URL, and any profile photos
- Dates and times of any physical incidents
- Names of anyone who witnessed anything
Create a written timeline. List events in chronological order. Include dates, what happened, and how you found out. This is the single most useful document you can bring to police.
Store everything in a cloud-backed folder that only you can access. Do not rely on a device that the person has ever had access to.
Platform Reporting
Most major platforms have specific reporting paths for harassment and stalking. When you report:
- Select "Harassment" or "Stalking" as the category - not just "spam"
- Include screenshots in your report where the platform allows
- Note your report reference number after submitting
If a first report is dismissed, re-report and include the phrase "imminent safety risk" in your description. This routes to more senior review in most platform Trust and Safety teams.
Platforms can also be subpoenaed for account data once a police case is open. Filing the platform report creates a record that supports that process.
Police Reports and Protective Orders
Stalking and harassment are criminal offences. Repeated unwanted contact - even without explicit threats - meets the legal threshold in most jurisdictions. You do not need a single dramatic incident. A pattern is enough.
What to bring when you report:
- Printed screenshots with timestamps
- Your written timeline
- Contact details of any witnesses
What to ask for:
- A record of your report, with a reference number, even if no immediate action is taken
- Information about applying for a non-molestation order (UK), restraining order (US/AU), or protection order (India: under Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act)
Emergency applications for protective orders can be granted within 24-72 hours in most jurisdictions when risk is established.
Contacts:
- India: Local police + cybercrime.gov.in for digital elements
- UK: 999 if in immediate danger, 101 otherwise, Action Fraud for online-only threats
- US: Local police department + IC3.gov for online threats
- Australia: Local police + 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Digital Safety
Change these first:
- Email and social media passwords - use a new password not used anywhere else
- Enable 2FA on every important account
- Review location sharing - check which apps have access to your location and remove access from any the person could see
Check your devices for monitoring software. Signs include battery draining faster than usual, data usage spikes, and the phone staying warm when not in use. Device care settings (Android) or Privacy Report (iPhone) show which apps are accessing location and microphone.
If the person has ever had physical access to your phone, consider a full factory reset as a precaution.
Physical Safety
Simple changes that reduce risk:
- Vary your routes and timing when travelling to regular locations
- Tell 2-3 trusted people what is happening and share your location with them
- Know your safe places - where you will go if you need to leave a location quickly
- Inform your workplace reception or manager discreetly
You do not need to upend your life. Small changes to routine significantly reduce predictability.
Try It: Safety Planning Tool
This four-tab tool walks through evidence documentation, platform reporting, law enforcement steps, and digital and physical safety. Work through the checklists at your own pace.
What That Just Showed You
1. Documentation is the foundation of every other step. Without screenshots and a timeline, platform reports are weaker, police responses are slower, and court applications are harder. Start there before anything else.
2. Platform reporting and police reporting can run at the same time. You do not need to wait for one to complete before starting the other. Run them in parallel.
3. Digital and physical safety are separate tracks. Changing your passwords does not protect your physical location. Varying your routine does not prevent monitoring through your phone. Both tracks need attention.
Three Things Worth Doing
1. Start a documentation folder today. Even if you are not ready to report. A cloud-backed folder with dated screenshots is the single most useful preparation you can do. You can decide what to do with it later.
2. Tell someone. A friend, a family member, a colleague. Not to involve them in conflict - just so someone else knows what is happening. Isolation makes the situation easier for the person causing harm.
3. Contact a specialist service before going to police if you are unsure. National Domestic Abuse Helpline (UK: 0808 2000 247), National Domestic Violence Hotline (US: 1-800-799-7233), and iCall (India: 9152987821) can help you understand your options and accompany you through the reporting process.
One Question Before You Continue
You want to report digital harassment to police. What should you bring?